Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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