Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
