YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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