Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
