I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
