Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
