Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
