oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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