Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
