Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
