No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
