Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize