kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
