So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
