he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
