I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
