College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i out mim tonsoeep
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