This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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