As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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