i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
