So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
