how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
