Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
