Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
