i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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