Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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