ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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