covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
third nipple confirmed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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