she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize