Got a toothbrush?
My friends, they love my intelligence
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
