You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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