i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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