i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize