just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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