Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
