About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
