Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
