no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
