He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
