Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
