At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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