i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
