I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize