If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
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to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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