He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The power of my boobs compel you
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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