if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
