Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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