Tell her she can't have a vagina
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
