Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize