And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
