Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
