I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I love having hate sex.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
