I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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