he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
