Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
