I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize