i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
