Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
