hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
