My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
then he tried to convert me to islam
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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