thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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