new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
