This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
