it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
