my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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