He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
