i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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