Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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