Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
